My life is in a crisis as is my soul. I love the physical beauty of my neighborhood yet I am in despair due to the trashy people who occupy it. Poverty forces me to live in a horrible building overrun by drug addicts, welfare mothers, white trash and such lowlifes as can only provoke in me such a feeling of contempt and revulsion that I can hardly bear it.
They attempt to harass me: my response is withering scorn and the calm, steady contempt I feel in the presence of those who make no effort to better themselves or their lives.
Yet I felt overwhelmed simply because I feel so outnumbered by society, this society which I despise with its emphasis on dragging me down to its lowest common denominator.
I am a religious womon and I believe God led me to pick up a copy of Ayn Rand's "Return of the Primitive" where I read her brilliant essay "The Age of Envy".
While I disagree with some of her politics and her atheism, I feel I have a soul mate in Miss Rand's hatred of egalitarianism and altruism . I recognized myself in her description of those who despise unearned success. I recognize in her essay the description of the decay of morale for I myself have lived it and I am experiencing blind hatred for anything and everything, simply because the society in which I am forced to live is crushing my soul and denying me the fuel I need to continue.
Yet the reading of this essay gives me profound hope and the fuel I need for my spirit. I once again can confirm my love of myself and my life not as it is but as it ought to be and I once again have the affirmation that the greatest sin I could commit is to resign myself to handing my life over to those I despise.
God bless Ayn Rand. The world needs more who think as she thought.
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